Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
