I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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