You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
