He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
