it wasn't lemon gatorade
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
