Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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