did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
