Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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