I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
