My friends, they love my intelligence
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
