Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
