I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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