i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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