well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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