hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
