I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
These tits shall not be calmed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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