finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
