I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
