She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
