If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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