What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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