he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
