I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
