went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
