god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
