Cold hands, warm shart.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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