you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
