I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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