I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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