she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
