And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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