I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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