oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
