You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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