That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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