and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
