At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
