he wants to bone in the snuggie
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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