Who did Billy Mays play for?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
