Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
