Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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