So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
