I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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