i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
