But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
