Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
