But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
