He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Never joke about your clitoris.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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