Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
