Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
