She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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